It's Official! And learning to be married.

BIG NEWS!!!

No, I'm not pregnant, so don't even think that. 

But this is pretty cool too.

I have officially accepted an offer to attend BYU's Master of Public Administration program, starting THIS fall. That's kind of a big deal.

While I found out I was accepted to the program a couple of months ago, Kevin and I were unsure if I would go. In fact, it was kind of a source of contention for awhile. See, I had planned on MPA school long before I even met Kevin. It was initially a backup plan, in case I wasn't married. But then the harder I worked for it and the more real it became, the more I wanted to do it anyway. 

In the meantime, Kevin and I got serious, and then engaged. Kevin was about to graduate and he had a different dream. He had planned to take a job wherever he had the best offer, not thinking that he would have geographical limits. In fact, for awhile it looked like we might be moving to the Midwest for him to work. The solution to this conflict became, Let's just see what happens and deal with it as it comes. But, being naturally selfish, I think we both secretly wished that OUR plan would win. The underlying question that we brushed on once or twice in our discussions was, Is it better to be single and achieve our goals separately? Or is it actually possible to be married AND somehow achieve our goals together? 

 As much as I wanted to go to grad school once I had the offer, I also wanted Kevin to be happy and I wanted to be unselfish. So through much prayer, thought, intense discussions, and counsel from others, I felt my heart change. It was wrenched into a place where it was initially uncomfortable - putting someone else's needs and desires above my own - but eventually settled and found great peace. I honestly wanted this job to work out. I felt anxious for Kevin and excited about the possibility of our lives together in the Midwest. It's not the end of the world if I can't attend MPA school right now, I told myself. There is more to life than grad school and other things to learn. Together, we decided that if this opportunity worked out for Kevin, we would take it. 

So when the opportunity fell through, I didn't know what to think. I was honestly disappointed - not only for Kevin but for me. I was not thrilled as I had thought I would be that I was now free to attend grad school. In fact, I was somewhat in denial about the situation at first. This can't be right, I thought. I felt good about this job. That is what was supposed to happen. So I still didn't accept the offer right away, even though Kevin encouraged me to. 

Up until just a couple days ago, I wasn't convinced I should go to grad school. It was Kevin who finally convinced me to just do it, because he saw how important it was to me.

* * *

Several weeks before Kevin and I were married, we met with one of our church leaders, who gave us the best marriage advice I received. He made us promise that we would be patient with each other as we learn to be unselfish. 

"Up to this point, life has been all about you," he explained to us. "The decisions you've made have been in your best interest. As you get married you will still be selfish. But as you learn to be selfless, that selfishness will leave you, making more room for you to love. That's why you hear couples who have been married for 30 years say, 'I love her more than I did the day I married her.'"  

* * *

For Kevin and I, we have decided that life is better together, even on our most selfish days.