The Intentional Long Pause

        One thing I learned from my mission trainer is that people are much happier to help you when they think it's their idea. One useful way of guiding them to the decision to help you is the "intentional long pause." What that means is that you basically state your problem and then pause . . . until they offer their assistance!

        For example, one morning on a campout, we really wanted to make pancakes for breakfast. We had hiked the griddle up the mountain and everything (ok, well we hadn't, but one of our strong, manly friends had), but had no butter. Without the butter, our pancakes all failed. We knew, however, that a group of boy scouts was camping nearby and, by definition of their title, would be prepared with butter. My friend went to find them and said something to the effect of, "We really wanted to make pancakes this morning, but the problem is, we don't have any butter. . . ."

        And then, within seconds came the response, "We have butter! You can borrow some of ours!"

        "Really?! That would be great! You guys are the best! Always prepared like true boy scouts!"

        Ok, well I actually don't know what her response was because I wasn't there, but I can imagine it was something a lot like that. Anyway, I may be giving away some big secret here, but really, you should try it! It's brilliant!

        Because my friend has had so much success in this area, I have really tried to employ it in my own life. Today, for example, when I realized I had written down the wrong classroom number for my Creative Nonfiction Writing class when I found myself outside the mechanics closet. Being resourceful, I first attempted to use my phone in order to access my class schedule online and thereby my classroom number. When my phone refused to cooperate, my thoughts went to my next resource: a public access computer that usually exists in multiple places within each building. So I asked the two guys (both on their laptops) with me in the lobby if they knew where such a computer was in the building. When they didn't, one of them offered to look up the closest one for me on his personal computer. 

        That's silly, I thought. In the time it takes him to look up where a computer is, I could have already looked up my classroom number. Unsure how to ask this friendly stranger if I could just use his computer to look something up, I simply said, "Actually, I just need to look up my classroom number really quick. . . ."

        Long pause, hoping he would put two and two together and just offer me his computer.

        Longer pause.

        Please don't make me say it. That defeats the whole subtlety of the long pause!

        And just when I had taken a deep breath, about to straight up ask him if I could use his computer, he turned it around and offered it to me.

        Whew.

        It was a little awkward.